Kiss Productivity Goodbye

Warning: Any one of these games alone will ruin any chances you had of doing anything else today.  I’ve never played them all in one day, but I’m pretty sure I would become homeless.  I posted them in order of least to most addicting/time wasting.

5. The Last Stand 2

Kill zombies before they eat yo brainz.  It’s got some depth to it, but for the most part it’s just kill zombies before they eat yo brainz.

4. Johnson Controls Game

Build a “car” that can carry coconuts over rough terrain to a shredder.  This one is addicting due to the nearly limitless number of designs you can build.

3. Fantastic Contraption

Build a contraption that will carry the red block or ball to the end zone.  This is what Joe and I were doing when Barack Obama won the presidency.  And I will remember that until the day I die.  This is sad.

2. Auditorium

Somebody was on drugs when they made this one.  It will blow your freaking mind.  Great for when you are also on drugs.

1. Desktop Tower Defense

Do not play this game unless you don’t want to do anything else ever again.  I cannot stress this enough.

UPDATE:  Desktop Tower Defense has been replaced:

KING.  Vector Tower Defense

Once you get sick of DTD, if that ever happens, try this game out.  Fuck.

Not Funny

I love stand-up comedy, when done right.  These guys do it wrong.

Ralphie May

Became “famous” for being the first runner-up on the first season of “Last Comic Standing”.  He is not funny.

Is a bit overweight.

Talks with a really annoying mix of a southern accent and a somewhat insulting version of “ebonics”.  “White people do this!  And black people do this!”  Hilarious!

Looks like a lesbian.

The Blue Collar Comedy Guys.  All of them.

I can’t sit through more than five minutes of any of these guys’ bit, so I couldn’t tell you much about them, except that they suck.

When Jeff Foxworthy is the funniest one, you’ve got a problem.

Larry The Cable Guy.  Fuck.

Git ‘Er Done!

Margaret Cho

Female Comedians are almost always not funny.  She fits right in the “not funny” category.

Notorious C.H.O.?  Clever.

Tries to make “funny” faces and cusses because she’s so “edgy”.

She is the opposite of Sarah Silverman.

Carlos Mencia

Steals good comics’ jokes.

Joe Rogan would murder him.

Uses the same formula as the previous “comedians”, basically just stereotyping every race and nationality.

Talks with a fake/real spanish accent.

Frank Caliendo

Enough is enough.

I’ll give it to him, his impressions are very good.  But that’s all he’s got.

It’s basically like taking Robin Williams’ set, and removing all of the annoying parts, and making a person out of it.

God Bless America

You have got to be shitting me. And on the back of the plate you get:

Yes, they couldn’t even wait until all of the popular votes were in to produce this masterpiece.

Words of Wisdom.2

Words of Wisdom.1

OME FROM BOWLING, ANKLE STILL IN PAIN/1 WHERE IS MARY JANE? WITHOUT, I WOULD, YOU WOULD GO INSANE!!!